A few years ago, as I was licking my wounds at the end of a very hard and discouraging day, I caught myself in a lie. Now, if you know me, you know I can’t stand lying – especially to thyself! How fucking moronic is THAT? Like we’re thinking “Oh boy do I have one my conscience will never find out about!” Right? Ever lied to yourself? Are you lying to yourself now? Well, if you have:
- You’re not alone
- This blog is for you…and me!
This was one of those lies we learn to tell ourself early on in life. It’s like the magical get out of jail card for most anything we attempt to do and fail at. What’s really fucked up is our parents and teachers taught us this trick and probably don’t even know it!
Well, there I was, watching the highlight reel in my mind, over, and over, and over, wondering why it didn’t turn out like I expected it to. Ever have those moments where your expectations didn’t match up whatsoever to the results and leaving you feeling completely devastated and discouraged? Now be honest, was your first self-defense reaction to offer up a plateful of excuses to make yourself not feel like so much of a loser? Again, NOT alone my friend!
So, there I was, standing in my bedroom, rubbing my face over and over, thinking about what went wrong. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, the following sentence actually half-heartedly dribbled past my lips: “I did the best I could.” Then, almost like voodoo magic, my brain immediately felt a rush of perceived relief and offered a consolation prize for my efforts, “You’ve had a rough day mister, go have a bowl of ice cream, you deserve it!” Not fucking kidding either!
But something was different from the other times I used this crap on myself. Nope, this time my gut’s bullshit meter went off like it was being said by a Presidential candidate or something. So, after digesting the queazy feeling in the pit of my stomach for a few minutes, I did something that pretty much forever changed how I process when something doesn’t go my way.
Now, let me just share, this epiphany didn’t take any real effort, any money, or any time really. As a matter of fact, it was just a few words correctly strung together to form a simple yet POWERFUL question I’m certain you’ve been asked and answered (lied) yourself a million times during your life.
I proceeded to ask myself, “Christopher Rausch, was THAT reallllllly your BEST???” Never have I really doubted or questioned myself in such a way before I don’t think. As my brain stuttered and stammered to find the best “white lie” it could, my EGO jumped in line just to let me know what it thought of that question. Some think our EGO’s are here to protect us and in some respects it is. But, in many ways it fucks us just like the media and politicians do – it tells us what we WANT to hear instead of what we NEED to hear. Why? It’s been taught that if we fail to achieve what we or others think is expected then don’t admit that it was really our fault. I’m guessing I might get an email or two about that statement.
So, after the internal cage match that was my brain and ego fighting to shout the answer first, “Ballsy Brains” ran and pushed itself off the ropes heading straight for “The EGO” who didn’t see it coming. Then, with ruthless abandonment, he delivered his royal majesty what amounts to a ginormous steel-toed kick to the sexy parts! In one very brave and yet devastating and humiliating moment, the ego was brilliantly sent to the canvas with clutched jewels in hand.
And after collecting himself for a moment, “Mr. Brains” offered the script (a.k.a. lie) told so many times before. “Yes, you dipshit, of course I did the best I could! Do you KNOW who I AM??? I ALWAYS do my best!”
[KICKASS Life Tip#172]: When you ask better questions you get better answers and therefore results? Not only of others, but especially yourself.
Seriously, often times we use that EXCUSE “I did the best I could” when something doesn’t go as planned. Right? It comes from when we were kids. Think about it.
Mom: “Why did you get a C on that test? Did you do your best?”
Chris: “Mom, yes, I did the best I could!” and for added value I threw in “I swear!”
Mom: “Well, if you say so then you can go outside and play until the street lights come on.”
Here’s what I learned (accepted as truth) when my teachers and mom would accept that answer:
— > This is awesome – I’m off the hook as long as I SAY, “I did my best.” <—-
Does any of this sound vaguely familiar?
But seriously, what is your “best”? Is it a mediocre half attempt just to get someone to shut-up about something you should be doing? Is YOUR best identified by what you can get away with? With others and yourself?
Or, in the end, does your “best” leave you feeling like you just watched a gruesome horror flick that turned funny and entertaining, ultimately ending with feeling like you did after watching the movie The Notebook? Giving and doing our best should feel like an amazing roller coaster of ups and downs that leaves us feeling proud, confident, and stronger for having experienced it – even if we weren’t successful! Didn’t expect that last part did ya?
Here is just a partial list of what is involved in doing your best:
- Clear vision of the end result
- Sufficient planning, strategizing, and goal planning
- As much education you need, but not with the intention of being perfect
- Someone who’ll hold you accountable and call you on your bullshit excuses (coach, accountability partner, mentor etc.)
- Putting forth the additional resources (time, money, energy) so that you’re invested in truly achieving the results – not just saying you “tried” to
- And a shit ton more!
Quit giving yourself excuses and start giving yourself some accountability! This is how as a mentor/coach I teach you and thousands of others to become and remain UNSTOPPABLE! Stop SETTLING and start STRIVING for what you can and deserve to achieve!
If you are truly ready to take your success to the next level of awesomeness then send me an email and reference this blog. We’ll do a 30min strategy session (FREEEEEEE) to see if coaching is right for you – and me! I ONLY take people who prove to me they are READY!
What have you got to lose? Or, what do you have to gain?
Until next time, wishing YOU all the KICKASS success you go after!
Christopher Rausch (a.k.a. Mr. KICKASS)