Life is funny isn’t it? Somehow, from a young age, we start convincing ourselves people won’t like us if we were actually how we are. Authentic and transparent.
Then, we spend the rest of our lives faking it in the public eye. “Don’t let them see you sweat,” they say. “Only the strong survive,” they say. “If you do that, no one will want to be your friend,” they would say.
I’ve got a question: Who in the fuck are “they”??? Parents? Teachers? The people “protecting” us? Protecting us from what? Developing thick skin and living our life? The miserable people who did the same shit for the same reasons? The intentions are good but the results suck! Ever known someone who committed suicide because keeping the secret was harder than killing themselves?
I think based on my observations, combined with over 25 years in personal development, and most recently, my own journey, it’s all bullshit! What kind of “living” are we doing if we’re faking most of it??? Is that what you want to be remembered for? “Well, Bob sure did a great job pretending his loved his shitty job for 20years!”
So, let me ask you: Where do you rank on the authenticity/transparency scale? 1-10 with “10” being totally YOU. I’d say for much of my life it on average was about a 5. However, since taking the suit and tie off and starting The KICKASS Guide to Life (speaking and coaching) brand, it’s been more of 7-8.
Now, I’m asking myself, what would life be like if I took it to a 10? Obviously, all of this takes into consideration balance, moderation, and knowing how and when to be completely 100% you. Please don’t start running your mouth and quitting your job because you read a blog!
What is it we’re afraid of being and showing the world our real selves? I’ll tell you what I think. I think it’s about being and feeling vulnerable to judgment and criticism. Think about it, when we were snotty little kids and decided we were wearing our SpiderMan boots to school and that we were cool how did that experience end? Sure, we got our asses handed to us! The other scared snotty little kids made fun of us right? So, we from that point, we decided it was better to “fit in” with everyone else. We’d better not rock the boat right? Play it safe right? Any others you can think of?
Now, let’s close our eyes, and go back in the Delorean time machine for a minute K? Do you remember how KICKASS life was when we were kids BEFORE the bullshit conditioning happened? The sense of adventure we had! We feared nothing! Well, maybe except spiders, they always freaked me out! But then, something happened that changed many of us forever.
Have you ever seen those videos called “Kids Say The Darndest Things”? If you haven’t then stop reading this and Google it! The truth is we had NO filter on our minds and mouths! If we thought you were fat we said it. If we thought something was stupid we said it! If we thought wearing Spiderman boots to school we did it! We held NOTHING back!
Of course, all this said, there has to be some balance in our quest for true authenticity and truly embracing our uniqueness! Otherwise, we’d all have bloody knuckles, fat lips, and most likely be unemployed right?
THIS all comes on the heels of a handful of people who’ve recently reached out wanting to know from me how being very open and basically just being me is working out. I shared it’s both very awesome and sometimes very scary. But, if I passed away tomorrow, I’d be extremely proud of who I’ve become in life and the lives I’ve impacted by being ME – Zits and all (never had a wart in my life thank you God!).
So what’s it gonna be for you? Continue putting on the mask every morning for your family and work people? Continue putting the filter on your thoughts and feelings about what’s going on in the world because you’re afraid of your “friends” not liking the new you? Well, sorry, but if they are truly your “friends” then they might be shocked, but they better be there with you. If not, then you know where they stand!
Trust me, I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, people have un-friended me on Facebook because of my outspoken words that are sometimes very colorful. Honestly, I wish them well in their journey! And, uncharacteristically, that’s not sarcasm. I’d rather have three friends who GET me and SUPPORT me than 20 who blow smoke up my ass!
Obviously I’m passionate about this and could go on and on but in the interest of your time I’ll bring it to a close.
Get up and go look in the mirror and ask yourself if you like who’s behind those eyes. Are you proud of who you really are at your core and how you share that with the outside world? If so, you are one of many not out there fighting everyday to keep it all together. However, if you’re feeling your hand slipping from that rope, then decide what you want your legacy in this lifetime to be and start taking those steps to be that person!
Every single day is a gift. This is not a dress rehearsal. So, what’s it gonna be for you?
As always, if I can help, you know where to find me! And, if this touches you, or would like to comment back, please don’t hesitate! I welcome all replies! I’m on this journey too ya know ;)
All my very KICKASS best!